Here’s to all of the sleepness nights, with more to come,

to bloodshot eyes, and all 4 years blurred together.

With faculty members holding us back, we feel tethered.

To our GPA’s, college letters, and days that are numbered,

Our teachers help us, but we still feel encumbered.

The weekly panic attack, accompanied by tears and crying,

We wonder, is this what it feels like to slowly be dying?

Numbers start to mean more then just math class,

most of these characters determine my future somehow.

We are being broken, and bent

not sure when it will end.

Monday through thursday from eight to four

It feels like is never ending, forevermore.

All the homework, sports, and extracurriculars have been tough,

These four long years have obviously been rough.

Though it may not seem like it now, and times have been bumpy,

We are going to keep going and not be grumpy.

Since we haven’t had school. I have either been at home doing chores, and cleaning or I have been at work. This past Thursday I was at work. Friday I went to work for DLC Construction, it was a long day, and I got burned so bad on my arms, and the sad part is that I even put on sunscreen 3 times on Friday, it was kinda annoying. Most of the workers had dinner there, we had hot dogs, and potatoes. Then Saturday I wasn’t supposed to do much, but got called into DLC because one guy went over 40 hours, and just didn’t want to work, and the new guy had something going on with the army or something, I’m not really sure but they were down 2 men so they called and asked if I wanted to work, and of course I said yes, because I am trying to save for college. It was a long day. Sunday I worked again but at Rancher’s Roost Cafe a small restaurant in the little town I live in. It was pretty busy considering we are only doing take out. Monday I went out with my sister her boyfriend and my boyfriend. We went down to the springs. It was supposed to be a fun day, but it turned super chaotic fast. Let’s just say it was a long day, and pretty much everyone was cranky, cause we were all hungry, and everything else. So even though it’s been crazy since the coronavirus started, I think it might have happened for a reason.

I don’t like the fact that the class of 2020 has to deal with this tragic pandemic, but I know that we can, and will get through this. For some places like Arizona, and California where it was really bad, everything has been closed, and seniors there are not able to have a graduation. Lucky for some, like the class of 2020 in Westcliffe, Colorado we are a small community and everyone knows everyone, so there is a bunch of people willing to put in the work, and time to make the class of 2020’s graduation memorable. The community I live in is amazing there are so many people stepping up to help, and everyone is pitching in, it’s really sweet. Even though graduation won’t be the same, and I will have to miss out on traditions, like senior prank day, and prom, ex. I am ecstatic that I am still able to have an actual graduation. My last event with all of my classmates before we all go our separate ways. As much as it wont be the same, and we wont have it in a big gymnasium, like past years, I know the community will come together to make sure it is special for all of us, as we take our next big steps into the world, and find ourselves. I am very grateful to have lived in a small community, and appreciate everyone that has put forth there time and energy, to make sure the class of 2020, still knows that they are loved, even during a rough time.

When I was a kid the most frequent question that I got asked was what do I want to be when I grow up and become an adult and go to college and live somewhere else thats not with my parents? My goal for a long time was just to do something that I loved. I have seen people all through my life struggle with their jobs if they don’t like it, or are unhappy with it because it’s not fun for them. Well when your a kid your first response it astronaut, police officer, or a princess. Then when your in middle school they ask you the same question again, but this time you say gold medalist, bull fighter, or a pop star. But now that we are grown up they want a serious answer, well how about this “We don’t know.” This isn’t the time where we should be choosing what we want to do with the rest of our life, this should be the time where we make mistakes, and learn from them because nobody is perfect. We should be able to change our minds, and change them again because nothing is permanent. In my experience stay a kid as long as you can, cause you can only be a kid once. But that way with all those mistakes made, when we finally get to our destination after we have learned all of the lessons we could be taught by our parents and teachers, when we finally go out on our own we won’t have to guess, we’ll know.

But the plan for me because I did have to make a decision, was to go to college for volleyball and excel in a sport that I love. While doing that I will be attempting to pursue a career in Kinesiology. Things that have occurred in my life to help me veer towards this decision was based on, I wanted to do something that mattered, so I always wanted to help others, but I also have involved a majority of my life around sports, my fondest memories of all my years of high school, either has to do with crazy bus rides with friends on my team, or just hanging out with other athletes, because that’s where I felt I fit in.

This week has been pretty busy. Starting on Monday me, and my new room mate Emily painted her room the walls and the ceiling, that took forever, and in my opinion the color was hideous. Then the next day we had to stain the stairs, the wall lining the stairs, it smelled terrible. Wednesday I stayed home alone and cleaned while my parents went to work, and my little sister went with my mom. And then on Thursday me and my family split wood, hauled wood, and hauled brush, and in the afternoon me and my sister raked up dog poop in the backyard. Friday was a little bit more fun, we went on a hike, and then when we got home we did more wood. Saturday my older sister came out with her family my two nieces Gabi, and Rylee, they are so cute, except for the fact that my niece is obsessed with frozen 2, and got the song “Into the unknown” stuck in my head, but other then that it was a good visit. Sunday was a really big day, my parents got up and made breakfast, then me and my room mate Emily, my three sisters Alysha, Kirsten, and Miranda, my mom and dad, and my two nieces, along with my sister Kirsten’s boyfriend Paul, and Alysha’s husband Jeff, we all went on another hike together, it was long and there was so much snow, and we ended up straying from the path because we all were getting tired and hungry, so we ended up back at the road and just walked to our cars. So even though we are on quarantine, my family still makes life interesting, to where we aren’t just sitting at home bored all day.

This week has been busier than usual. On thursday my family and I went up to the springs to get my little sister Miranda, and my two nieces, Gabi and Rylee. We got them for about three days, because there mom, my sister Alysha had to come get them on Saturday. So Alysha came out on saturday afternoon and she spent the night and left on sunday in the later afternoon. It was very chaotic around the house with a 3 year old, a 1 year old, and a 10 year old. On top of all the chaos that we already have around the house, including the seven dogs we have and the four cats. Saturday was also a fun day because are cat who was pregnant went into labor, she had four baby kittens and they are all fully black, and tiny. Then on sunday in the morning our pregnant dog started going into labor, but she didn’t actually have the babies till around 12 ish. She is a toy poodle, and the dad is a yorkie, so knowing they are small dogs, and she wasn’t very big I thought the babies were going to be tiny, but they were in fact a good size. She had 3 beautiful and healthy babies. So as you can see its been crazy around my house. And to top it all off, a family friend of ours came out to surprise us, and she is going to be staying with us for a little while. But other then a lot of animals, and children running around the house, its still pretty normal around here.

My spring break wasn’t super fun, because there is currently the corona virus going on, but I did do some stuff. Monday through Wednesday, I stayed home and worked on stuff around the house, like cleaning and yard work, that me and my parents needed to get down. On Thursday I went to work, and my hands hurt so bad from all the bleaching I had to do of everything around the restaurant. Also there were only two of us there and we had to move everything out of the fridge and freezer, so we could do a deep clean of the place. Friday I didn’t do much, it was my sisters birthday, but she wasn’t here cause she lives in the springs, so we called her but that was it, the rest of the day we cleaned so more. Saturday my sister came out in the afternoon and surprised us, her two little munchkins are so cute, and I love my nieces so much. Then on Sunday my dad made breakfast for us all bacon, and chocolate chip pancakes. I cleaned up from breakfast and did the dishes for my mom, then my other sister Kirsten came over to see us all, and we hung out for a while,but around twelve thirty me and her left to go help my boyfriend move. He had a lot of crap. We moved couches, and his bed, food, everything he had pretty much. And then I had dinner with them, me and Andrew made the chicken on the grill, and Kirsten made mashed potatoes, green beans, and Red Lobster rolls. It was really good. After dinner we went back over to Andrew’s new place to help him finish putting stuff away just so he had a bed to sleep on, and we made sure all his cold food was put away, so nothing went bad. I also played with his puppy for a while before I had to leave. So my spring break probably wasn’t as exciting as others but, it was something.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad job. But the job that I had that was both the most annoying, and boring was my lifeguarding job. I went through two weeks of training to become CPR, and First aid certified. All I really do though is sit in a tall chair all day, and stair at the peaceful water. Sometimes I’ll have 5-10 kids come in other times I’ll have nobody. Once in a blue moon we will have big parties come in, which I didn’t entirely hate, except when people who planned the party or went to the parties knew me, they would try and come up to me, and talk to me while I was on duty. I am the type of person for out of respect I will make eye contact with you while you talk, so when people would come up to me while, I was watching munchkins swim, made it really hard for me to do that. But without being too mean or disrespectful, I would tell them I was working and I would talk to them on my next break. While some people understood that and walked away, others continued to talk to me. Meanwhile after my shift was over my manager would always come out the pool area and tell me that I needed to focus on my job, and not talk to people while I’m working. A lot of times I would apologize and simply just tell her I told them I couldn’t talk but they proceeded to talk to me. And while my manager understood that, she made it very clear that I needed to be more authoritative when on the job, and I needed to make it very clear that I was working, and am not to be disturbed.

It first started when they brought the lovely elliot into the lab. The lab was in Utah, around 2014. Elliot thought it was unusual, that the salty Caleb was there too. When given an x-ray, elliot learned that there was something salty inside of him, it was a pretzel. The lab soon learned that people would like anything they put into m and m’s, that’s when they started experimenting. They came up with the pretzel m and m, peanut butter, peanut, mint, almond, carmel, crispy etc. At the end of the ad the two snacks look up at all the statistics and equations that were drawn up, and they are stumped by what the lab people came up with, but to their knowledge it worked because many people have come to love the new m and m’s that have been produced.

Does the SAT, or ACT’s really show how intelligent you are? When it comes to standardized testing my belief is we shouldn’t have to test. The other side of it suggests that it helps teenagers, and it is used to measure how schools are meeting educational state standards. But why are the kids being tested to prove that a teacher, or a school is meeting standards? And believe me I’m not suggesting that they test the teachers instead, I’m saying, for some of the government issued people who focus on school stuff specifically to come into schools, assess the teachers, and more importantly the environment that kids have to be in everyday. From my perspective of things, some kids just really struggle with testing whether they understand the material, and know the information or not, some kids just get there anxiety levels so high for tests, that they forget everything once they test is right in front of them. And of course that’s not for everyone, but nowadays each person is different. A lot of studies have showed that year by year, standardized testing has only fluctuated, and had nothing to do with long term learning. They impact us but not in the right way. The things we need in today’s society, is creativity, enthusiasm, empathy, and people who can solve real world problems. And maybe there was a time for standardized testing but not anymore, we need to be preparing for the future, instead of learning the same things, and repeating the past.